Why Do Men Love MILFs? An Adult Film Star Answers.

It’s time to talk about pornography, people. Ever since American Pie popularized the term “MILF” to an overly-aroused, eager-for-change, porn-viewing audience, the nation has had older women on the brain. And with porn stars like Lisa Ann happily accepting the task of branding themselves as MILFs, the common idea of “younger is better” has flipped the porn world upside down. 

Despite the fact that she’s only 35 years old, Tanya Tate (above) has taken the MILF genre by storm, winning 10  “MILF of the Year” awards in her six short years in the adult industry. Last week, amidst her busy schedule of performing, directing, and making fleshlights, Tate was gracious enough to answer some of our questions concerning the world’s ever-growing oedipal tendencies and the separation of fantasy and reality in pornography. 

Why do men love MILFs? Tate says it’s actually not all that complicated. 

Let’s talk about your humble beginnings, Tanya. When did it all start?  
I remember the first time someone called me a MILF…I was like “Oh my God, that sounds horrible,” and I was offended, because it made me feel very old.

I didn’t realize that MILF meant something else. It means a hot, older woman…someone who is in control, someone who knows what they want and knows how to be satisfied. At first, it didn’t sound very sexy—but when people started referring to me as a MILF, I decided to embrace it. If that’s my term, that’s my market.

How does it feel now? 
Years ago, there were young girls—teenagers—that were the bulk of the stars. But now there are so many MILFS…so many hot older women. It’s actually really, really nice to fall into that category. I have a lot of MILF friends. They make themselves look good, they keep their bodies in shape, they’re very sexy.

Do a lot of your MILF friends have kids?
Yes, some of them do. I spoke to one friend and she has a kid and she decided that she couldn’t do a mother-daughter scene unless she played the stepmom. She was affected by it, because of her child. We all have moms; the people who have moms aren’t always affected by it. Most of my friends don’t care, though—only a few aren’t comfortable shooting MILF porn.

What do you think triggered the MILF movement?
Well, there have been a lot of movies and TV shows with hot older women. Once the mainstream branches out, the adult industry follows. Plus, there are plenty of young guys out there who really had crushes on their Mom’s friends when they were teenagers. Some guys just like older women, and women their age might not be sexually mature.

So, it’s more about men liking empowered women?
I remember when I was younger, I didn’t know how to please a guy properly or what to do with him. It takes time to learn and older women have years of experience. Plus, there have always been fantasies in porn: sexy teacher, hot secretary, a friend’s hot mom. I have a lot of guys who will do webcam chats with me, like one-on-one, and a lot of them call me “mommy.” It really is a big fetish.

MILF and incest seems to go hand-in-hand, it seems. 
I direct a lot of incest porn and what I’ve specialized in is older hot women and younger hot girls, and I always try to make sure there’s a big difference in age. I’ve been doing a lot of step-mom/step-daughter scenes and people really like that. But, then there are fans who actually want to watch mom and daughter. For me, I really embrace it.

Do you get a lot of adverse reactions?
Some people think it’s disgusting. I don’t think they’re fantasizing about their mom; I think they’re fantasizing about a maternal figure. It’s taboo, but at the same time it’s not, because we know it’s not real. If it were real, it wouldn’t turn me on whatsoever.

Yeah. Porn’s all about the taboo—but it’s all staged…
There’s psychology behind it. When men are young and sexually maturing, they are close to their mothers and they look up to them and their mothers make them feel special and loved and wanted. I think there’s a bit of that going on in there. Just for the record—I’ll never condone having sex with immediate members of your family.

Deal. I won’t say you advocate incest.
But it all reminds me of Game of Thrones—years ago, the kings and queens wanted to keep the bloodline in the family and that all happened. It’s really weird, watching the show and seeing the fantasies take place. I was in the porn parody, Game of Bones, and in that, I had sex with my fictional future daughter-in-law. That was a fun movie to make. 

Do you think most men have an Oedipus complex? 
I do a lot of custom videos and I recently got one request where I played a guy’s Aunt, and he’s in this incestuous relationship with her. So, he’s carrying this story along and I’ve been dealing with that, which is interesting.

So, plenty of incest, but no patricide. 
Not yet! The things that turn guys on…them wanting to call me “mommy”—saying “daddy isn’t home” or “daddy is on business”—that’s how the fantasies go. It’s not real, so you kind of go along with it. And, as long as it doesn’t involve animals or children or death, it’s fine.

How old are these guys?
Usually anywhere from 18-25.

Ironic, because you’re literally too young to be these guys’ mom.

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